I always wanted to become a journalist. In my elementary days, I would struggle with two categories and ace them. Yes, I felt like a superhero then winning two categories at the same time. In high school, it was still the same. I would rush on Copy Reading and Headlining to be able to catch up with Feature writing. But I wasn't complaining, I felt just so rewarded then.
I would have had wanted to major in Journalism back in college, but at 15, who would have the guts to erase naivety and not listen to other people has to say? They told me there will be no money on Journalism, on writing. And I would have had retort back "who needs money anyway?" if I wasn't disoriented then. But back then, I was spineless git. So are most teens who are suddenly thrown back from the comforts of high school life to the unexplanable college life.
At 18, I would have had gladly make a decision, but that was two years later when I've completed two years for Special Education, and has already spent a lots of money from the Province, yes, I was a scholar of The Iloilo Province, the taxpayers, one of the 25 for the school year. I was a time-whore, I hate wasting it, I cling to it, it's gold for me. I wouldn't have gone back even if it incldues getting to my passion of writing.
But nevertheless, I came to live still like I didnt discard what I love in life. I joined the school publication, SILAK. And most of my best memories from the University has been contained in those blue walls of the Publication's office.
Who Says There is No Money in Writing?
They do, I discovered something else. Writing pays. Although I may not be able to write as many essays, poetries and shorts stories as I've wanted for the work, but still it pays. Online writing pays, and it's better than not practicing writing at all.
And you can have it big in online writing. You can earn lots of money, in foreign currency even, (hello dollars). But I won't go into details about what I write, you may take a hint from my past article, Of Earning A Couple of Dollars at Home.
I do it on weekdays and I have another job during weekends! I know this is killing me, my social life, my love life (as if I have one), etc. I teach Journalism to kids.
Being a Journalism Trainer
I teach journalism every weekend. We would go around the whole province of Iloilo and impart knowldge. I get to dsicuss Editorial Writing Filipino. I know editorial, I can write one but I must admit that I would have had aced every other categories even the editorial cartooning than Editorial. Although there is a bit of hesitation for me, plus the Filipino genre, I still took it as a challenge.
Although sometimes frustration may have seep in (try getting into the concept of editorial and have a 9 year old understand it), I still manage to cheer myself up. How? I imagine my 10 year-old self doing the same thing as these kids 15 years ago, listening to their speaker trying to make light of everything. And it brightens up my day.
And trying to imagine these kids to grew up and become fearless Journalists who will be changing the Philippine Journalism landscape, then everything feels fine. And I started this in 2010, so far, my old trainees may have gotten past elementary years and are already in their high school.
For Now
For now, I don't know if this online writing job, these Journalism training and teaching is fulfilling me. I guess not yet. I started half empty back in college, and I would go on like it as long as I won't get the chance to find my happiness.
I am a lost cause, I know. And the foreign bucks seemed not to matter anymore. I felt like flying now. Every week, as I tend to look and seek for my self and my meaning, I get so frustrated. and to admit it, I try buying things every weekend to know if I may felt some fleeting satisfaction from it. But no. My shoes piled, clothes, bags. But no, material things seems like fulfillment, but no.
In the last week of August, I am planning a break from my old self. I booked a flight to Manila and see Baguio or wherever it will take me first. and I hope, from there, I might find a hint of my life's meaning and come back happy.
So from the writing to life's meaning, only I can pull that because I own this blog. I have the right to doodle here. And I will publish this minus the typo check. Bye.
PS Who, in her right mind ends an essay with a "bye"? Ako lang. Feeling text "te?
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